She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
