Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
