haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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