just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
