why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
