I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
