curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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