In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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