Jerry, you need to find god
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
