You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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