I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
