Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
