good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
