I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
