you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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