i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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