i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
