Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
