If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
