I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
