I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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