Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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