i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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