We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
