I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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