She is in my trunk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
third nipple confirmed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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