So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
