i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
