I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
