we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
