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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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