Bisexual people are plain selfish.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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