shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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