I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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