No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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