I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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