Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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