she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
