FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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