I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
