how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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