That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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