She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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