So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
