So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
