Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize