im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
