I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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