I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
