Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
