you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The police scanner is talking about you again....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize