Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
