you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
