capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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