I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize