I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
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Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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