How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize