Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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