then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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