If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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