Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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