im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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