I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
