Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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