new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
