i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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