is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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